It was some time in the 90s, my mum of blessed memory told me a story of a young pregnant woman who was beaten to death by her husband. It was a sad one though because it was said her husband kicked her in the stomach and that caused her to bleed to death losing her life and that of her unborn child.
In recent times, we heard the stories of the famous gospel musician, Osinachi Nwachukwu, who died after being brutalised by her husband in Abuja. Chinyere Ogudoro and her brother, Ifeanyi Edoziem , how they were killed by her husband, Benjamin Ogudoro after being set on fire at her Lagos apartment the same day she returned from Scotland on getting the information that her husband was about to sell her house. Solution Amadi who was strangled by her husband, Pastor Chris Amadi of Shalom Mercy Ministry based in Rivers State, after a disagreement over fees payment in her school. And the story goes on and on.
These are a few sad stories among millions of Nigerian women who fell victims to abusive partners because they wanted to be accepted by the society at large.
Domestic violence or abuse is a pattern of abusive behaviour in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. It could be physical, sexual, emotional, mental or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. The irony of it is that anyone of any age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender could be a victim.
The cases of domestic violence in Nigeria are alarming because women face domestic violence in the hands of their loved ones, family members, and the society. Women are expected to stay in abusive marriages and pretend that they are happy despite constant abuse they have to deal with because of what the society will say. If I may ask, must one’s existence be based on societal acceptance?
Domestic violence is evil and should not be condoned at any level because it is a violation of fundamental human rights, which the Nigerian Constitution is against. The culture and traditions that encourage domestic violence should be condemned.
The church should preach against it and encourage people to come out from abusive marriages to stay alive. Divorce we know God abhors but that same God will not want one to die an untimely death in the hands of an abusive partner so let’s stop this hypocrisy.
I give kudos to some nongovernmental organisations that are fighting tirelessly against domestic violence and providing support for victims as well. Laws that protect women from any form violence like the VAPP law should be given assent by state governors who are yet to do so and various authorities presented with cases of domestic violence should stop handling them with kid gloves and see that anyone guilty of this crime is made to face the wrath of law.
Women don’t have to die in silence anymore and don’t hesitate to walk away whenever you sense any form of abuse because you have the right to live. Also there is need for counselling and rehabilitation for women who have been abused because they also passed through emotional, mental and psychological abuse thereby leaving them damaged so there is need to undergo a healing process for a better mental health. Let’s say no to domestic violence.
With Love,
Tricia Iwuoha
