So I have a secret, in fact it’s a secret I have been carrying for a very long time, 13 years to be precise. And now it seems as if my whole world is about to collapse on my head. Wait a minute, before I start with my usual moaning and self pity which has become a norm for me these days, let me take a trip down memory lane to how it all started.
My name is Destiny, I am forty years old. I am an only child whom my parents had after waiting for almost thirty years and so they named me Destiny. I have been married for eighteen years and I have three kids, two boys and one adorable daughter. My first child is thirteen years old, the girl is eleven year s and the last boy is nine years old. I can say I have an enviable family as my wife Dorathy is a beautiful thirty nine years old event planner. In fact, she is a very popular event planner, and by extension a socialite due to the nature of her business. I, on the other hand, I am a chartered accountant and own an accounting firm. So you see we are not doing badly, except for my secret, my little secret which has suddenly become a big secret and now getting too big for me to handle.
It all started twenty years ago, when I had my first sexual encounter with an older woman. I was in university, and was seriously crushing on my female lecturer who was very beautiful. Though she had been married for a while she didn’t have a child and it was straining her marriage, so she decided to have extra marital affair with a younger guy to help her chances of conception. I was easily the best option tall and handsome with very sexy body structure, plus the fact that I was one of the most brilliant in the class. I considered myself very lucky when she started making passes at me, I quickly accepted, she was so excited when I told her I was a virgin. So we made out for a while before we started having sex, I must confess that after my clumsy attempt during the first time, I caught up real fast and succeed at sending my lecturer on bouts of sexual ecstasy. We continued our sexual relationship, with lots of sex, gifts and great grades for me, while my partner got almost nothing except for the enjoyable sexual frenzies she had. We had been at it for almost one year and she was not getting pregnant, so being a desperate woman she took some measures. I still wondered how she managed to get my sperm smear and took it to her doctor for test and that was how my problem began. She invited me to the guest house for our sexual rendezvous, and I went hoping for another round of hot sex.
I didn’t expect you to will be in your clothes, sexy I said as I touched her cheeks. She just continued to stare at me without saying a word. “So what’s up?” I asked her when it became obvious she wasn’t there for sex. I have been
“I have been trying to get pregnant through you” she said calmly. What? I jumped up from the chair. I had thought she just fancied me for sex, I never knew she had other intentions.
1 am almost losing my marriage, so I thought picking an able bodied young man should get me pregnant and save my marriage. When you me you were a virgin. I felt you were my best option. How wrong I was, she concluded
“Sincerely I don’t understand what you are saying, can you break it down?” I said.
I have been having regular sex with you and I wasn’t pregnant, I became concerned. I took your sperm smear to my doctors and the result is not good. You are sterile.”
“What!!! What does that even mean?”
“It simply means you can never get a woman pregnant, and so I have been wasting my time.”
“You are kidding right?” I asked, but the look on her face told me otherwise. “I can’t believe this, I must see the doctor and have another test” I said and that was done. In fact, we went to three of the best laboratories and hospitals in town and the results were same. I was pronounced sterile.
I became depressed, it was almost like a death sentence and my life was over before it began. How was I going to be able to look my parents I\in the eye and tell them that I would never give them grand children, how would I tell them that they were stuck with me and their lineage ends with me? It was a burden too heavy for me to bear, I only confided in my best friend, Jude who told me not to worry my young head about it, that when we get to that bridge we would cross it.
I made up my mind that my life must count for something; I severed my relationship with my lecturer and faced my studies barely paying attention to ladies. Needless to say, I came out tops in my class and got a job with a bank and gave in to pressure and married Dorathy, whom my parents had already recommended for me, seeing that I wasn’t paying attention to women and they being eager to have grandchildren. Marriage to Dorathy was great; we were friends though I hid my secret from her. I was a good husband and performed my marital duties very well. After three years, Dorathy got worried and so did my parents, my mother especially was mounting undue pressure on my wife for a child and it hurts me so much knowing I was the cause of her misery. On the surface everything was okay. I later got a job with a multinational company, things were moving well for me and money was not the problem. But my wife was no longer happy in fact she had become miserable. She was already contemplating walking out of the marriage for me to get another wife because we all made her believe the bareness was her fault I was so depressed I confided in Jude.
“Man my marriage is breaking up, and I feel so bad”
“Is it the child issue again? He asked while sipping his cognac.”
“Yes we will be five years in marriage soon and Dorathy is saying she would walk out of the marriage so I could marry a younger woman that will give me children. I can’t let that happen”
Why don’t you convince her for an adoption? He asked.
“And what would I tell her is my reason? I can’t expose myself Jude, she will lose respect for me and won’t forgive me for allowing her go through all these problems while knowing it was my fault.”
“I have an idea, we can convince her to try IVF and get someone’s sperm to inject with her eggs, that way your secret would be kept and you would have children.” Jude said. The idea was a boom.
“Man! You are a genius! Wow, wow, wow, why didn’t I think of this since?”
“That’s because my head is better than yours.” We laughed.
I was so gratefully for a friend like a Jude. I took him to a jewelry shop and bought an expensive gold set for his wife, just to express my gratitude. Jude was really rich and so I couldn’t give him money. Convincing Dorathy to have IVF was as simple as ABC; she was already desperate and willing to try anything. I got a good doctor who shared my plans and agreed to hide it from my wife. Dorathy quickly submitted her eggs after going through the whole tests. We now began the hunt for a fertile sperm donor.
I became apprehensive; I didn’t just want to father any child I didn’t have a link with. What if the father had some genetic disease or even a family curse, would I be able to cope with it when these traits come up in future?
Dorathy on the other hand had started asking why it was taking too long to get my sperm, I lied that the doctors placed me on some fertility drugs to boost my sperm, she agreed. One day, I made up my mind to ask Jude to be the sperm donor. We are childhood friends and university colleagues, he was the closest person to me and I had known him my whole life. Accepting and fathering his child would not be too big deal for me I broached it to Jude and he refused vehemently, yet I kept at it using everything within my power to beg, cajole and convince him to agree and donate his sperm.
“We are almost brothers Destiny and there is almost nothing I can’t do for you. I have thought about it and if that is what will make you and Dorathy a fulfilled couple then I will do it.” He said.
“Thanks man, you are a life saver.” I hugged him tightly.
“On one condition though”
“Anything.” I said.
“No one gets to know about this, not my wife, Dorathy, this secret dies with us.” He warned.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I agreed. We sealed our pact with a drink and that was it.
Jude fathered all my children through IVF and I was glad I took that decision, my kids were wonderful. Jude for once never betrayed any emotions where they were, he handled everything business-like and I had almost forgotten the whole thing until fate played an unexpected game on all of us. The day started like every other normal day, until I got a phone call from Jude that shattered my life. His lovely wife and kids were involved in a ghastly accident along Ibadan/ Lagos expressway and unfortunately they all didn’t survive it. Dorathy and I were broken we felt Jude’s pain and anguish to our bones. He had loved his family deeply and didn’t know he would lose them so soon, we tried in our own way to be there for him all through his moments of grief.
Then one day, one year after the death of Jude’s wife and kids, Jude invited me over for a drink. I was a bit relieved because I had noticed he had withdrawn from me, but I took it as his own way of processing his grief. On getting there I noticed Jude couldn’t look at me in the eyes, so I made small talks while waiting for him to disclose his reason for this very uncomfortable meeting.
“I am sorry man, but I have to do this. I want my kids back.”
“I don’t understand?” I asked in total confusion. “What kids?” I asked again for clarity.
“Man, look at me, I am left without a family, no wife, no kids. I can’t go on like this.” He said.
“I know man but you have to face reality. They are gone and never coming back.” I said in consolation.
“I know and that’s why I’m asking for my other kids. My kids with your wife” that was when it dawned on me that Jude was referring to my kids.
“Are you really saying what I am thinking?” He nodded.
“Hell no! You must be joking!” I stormed out of the bar.
And that has been the beginning of my torture; Jude is disturbing the life out of me. I have blocked all means of communication with him but he somehow got through to Dorathy and told her that I am fighting him. Now Dorathy on one hand is asking for reason behind our fight. Just today, Jude showed up at my doorsteps and after a brief quarrel, he told me he was giving me three days to hand over his kids or he would tell the whole world the story and also take me to court over it.
Eventually, I have come to the end of the road! What do I do?
